Photo credit: www.mindful.org
The objective of this practice is to set aside preconceived notions about differences, fear, shame, and survival, and instead, foster a profound sense of shared humanity. Within this exercise lies the recognition that everyone desires happiness and seeks to escape suffering—elemental aspects of our collective existence.
A “Just Like Me” Practice to Expand Your Circle of Compassion
This meditation draws inspiration from Thupten Jinpa’s insights in his book A Fearless Heart: How the Courage to be Compassionate Can Transform Our Lives.
Start by centering yourself, taking a few moments to tune into your body. Pay attention to the sensations you feel, whether it’s the fabric of your clothing against your skin, the weight of your body pressing down on a surface, or the varying temperatures and tensions you might notice. Acknowledge your current state and observe the rhythm of your breath, recognizing it has continued naturally since your last awareness of it.
Reflect on someone who is dear to you, someone whose mere thought brings you joy. This person might be a close family member, a beloved pet, or someone with whom you share a straightforward bond. Allow yourself to truly feel their presence instead of merely thinking of them.
Notice the feelings that arise as you hold this individual in your mind, and consider how easy it is to recognize that they share your fundamental desire for true happiness.
Next, think of a person you encounter frequently, but with whom you lack a deeper connection. This may be someone you see on your daily commute or a cashier at your favorite store. Reflect on your feelings about this person and note how they differ from your feelings toward the person you just envisioned.
Try to imagine life from their perspective. We often overlook the inner world of those who occupy neutral spaces in our lives. Picture their experiences, hopes, and challenges—they are as genuine and intricate as your own. Acknowledge the similarity between your lives at the level of shared humanity. “Just like me, they wish for happiness and seek to avoid suffering.”
Now, envision someone entirely unfamiliar to you, perhaps someone who, at first glance, seems very different. This could be a figure you’ve seen in news reports or someone from a distant place. Consider an individual grappling with hardships that differ sharply from your own, possibly living in conflict or turmoil across the globe.
Focus on what you have in common with this person. Imagine connecting with them on a human level, feeling glimpses of their joys and pains—recognizing that they are deserving of compassion because they, too, are human.
Put yourself in their situation, acknowledging that this person has their own loved ones who care about them deeply. Realize that even those who appear vastly different from you share the same essential wish for happiness. Spend a moment—20 to 30 seconds—focusing on this awareness, welcome all accompanying thoughts and emotions while remaining present without judgment.
Bring together the three individuals you’ve visualized into a single mental image. Reflect on their common aspiration for happiness and relief from suffering. At this level of understanding, their differences dissolve, highlighting the fundamental similarities that unite them.
Next, include yourself in this circle of awareness and remind yourself that:
These individuals experience feelings, thoughts, and emotions, just like I do.
They have faced pain and suffering in their lives, just like I have.
They have felt sadness, disappointment, anger, or worry, just like I have.
They have experienced feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness, just like I have.
They long for connection, purpose, and belonging, just like I do.
They seek happiness and freedom from suffering, just like I do.
They desire love, just like I do.
With this understanding that the desire for happiness and the wish to alleviate suffering is universal, silently affirm: “Just like me, all others aspire to happiness and seek to overcome suffering.”
Allow space for whatever emotions or thoughts arise during this practice, observing them without attachment as they ebb and flow. Your aim is simply to acknowledge and be aware of these feelings.
Adapted from Self-Compassion for Dummies by Steven Hickman.
Source
www.mindful.org