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Parenting and professional responsibilities share a commonality: both demand investment of effort before yielding results. In the realm of higher education, the role of educators is to facilitate a smooth transition for young individuals into adulthood.
While some psychologists argue that the term “parenting” ought to be viewed as more than a verb or a job description, many higher education professionals struggle with this perspective. Their roles as caregivers often vie for the same resources of time, energy, and attention that are vital for their careers. Consequently, they may frequently find themselves facing the tough choice between advancing their careers and spending quality time nurturing their children.
This dilemma is often exacerbated by a perceived incompatibility between effective work and parenting. Society frequently reinforces the notion that successful professionals may lack the qualities necessary for effective parenting—and vice versa.
Should working parents see this pressure as simply a negotiation? It’s crucial for educators to advocate for enhancements in workplace policies, such as extended parental leave, stops on tenure clocks, and flexible duties. Without these considerations, many may feel forced to put their careers ahead of their family life. However, this external tension can sometimes be alleviated by shifting one’s internal mindset.
While some might agree that the concept of “parent” is better left as a noun, and not as a burden like work, working parents striving for equilibrium could find it beneficial to view both responsibilities as interconnected.
Psychologist Yael Schonbrun discusses this concept in her book “Work, Parent, Thrive,” where she argues that the roles of parent and professional can complement each other rather than compete. She asserts, “Harmony relies on tension. Making space for opposing forces, like conflict and enrichment, helps manage that tension more effectively.”
Schonbrun provides three pathways that working parents can explore to foster enrichment in both their personal and professional lives. I sought insights from my colleague Brittany Fleming, a communication professor at Slippery Rock University, to gain additional perspective on these pathways from a new mother’s standpoint.
Transfer Effect
Regularly alternating between roles can encourage the development of skills, perspectives, and resources that can be applied to the other domain. For educators, this might translate into enhanced empathy and communication with students or the application of structured organizational methods at home, such as treating a nursery like a well-managed classroom.
Brittany noted, “I feel like I’ve become a better professor since becoming a mom. While my children aren’t yet in college, I care for my students as if they were my own, particularly those I advise. Many skills I’ve developed as a mother have seamlessly applied to my teaching role, and what I’ve learned about parenting in recent months has positively influenced my approach to education.”
Buffering Effect
Holding multiple roles doesn’t have to lead to burnout; rather, it can provide a buffer that keeps an individual from over-investing their self-worth into a single area. For example, after a challenging day at work, stepping into the nurturing role of a caregiver can provide rejuvenation.
Schonbrun refers to this dynamic as “psychological detachment.” Shifting away from one role can facilitate rejuvenation, allowing individuals to return to their responsibilities with enhanced focus and productivity, and improved interpersonal relations.
Additive Effect
Taking on multiple roles can enrich one’s life. While there are limits to how many responsibilities one can juggle, research mentioned in Schonbrun’s work indicates that our well-being can benefit from this cumulative effect.
For instance, one might ponder whether a professor like Brittany would be a more effective teacher without her diverse commitments, including parenting. However, the supportive insights from the transfer and buffering effects suggest otherwise. Different roles can inherently impart significance, and even specialists often engage in hobbies, community activities, or other interests outside their primary profession.
In addition to her teaching role, Brittany oversees two student organizations, contributes to the student newspaper and television station, and participates in her university’s women’s commission and a social justice committee.
“If you’re worried that your performance is lagging in one area or another, remember that your concern indicates that you care,” she advised. “Though my schedule is hectic, I prioritize self-care because my work brings meaning to my life. I’m passionate about helping students gain confidence and reach their fullest potential—there’s great fulfillment in knowing I contribute positively to others’ lives.”
In Conclusion
Becoming a parent can profoundly impact both personal values and career objectives. The two roles do not necessarily conflict; rather, that tension can serve as a foundation for enriching both experiences.
As Schonbrun articulated, “Becoming a parent often adds an entirely new dimension to who we are. We may find ourselves more engaged in relationships, teaching, values, and the pursuit of meaningful work. Our children’s needs can compel us to broaden our own passions.”
Source
www.higheredjobs.com