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Every parent envisions a future where their child maintains a close relationship with them as they grow older. However, nurturing such connections requires intentional effort through everyday interactions that help children feel secure, acknowledged, and valued.
As a conscious parenting researcher and coach, my research across more than 200 families reveals that the responses parents provide from infancy play a crucial role in shaping the nature of their relationships with their children in adulthood.
If your goal is to have children who consistently trust, respect, and seek your company as they age, consider implementing the following seven strategies early in their lives.
1. Validate Their Feelings
Children must feel secure in expressing their emotions. When they hear dismissive phrases like, “you’re fine,” or “it’s not a big deal,” they may internalize the belief that their feelings are insignificant, leading to a reluctance to share them in the future.
Instead of minimizing their emotions, acknowledge them with responses like, “That sounds frustrating,” or “I see you’re upset.” Creating emotional safety involves ensuring that children feel understood rather than fixing their problems.
2. Prioritize Connection Over Control
Adopting a parenting style rooted in fear, punishment, or constant correction can foster emotional distance. Children may feel compelled to conceal parts of themselves to avoid disappointing their parents.
Parents who maintain a strong bond with their kids do not insist on blind obedience; rather, they focus on cultivating trust. Simple, shared moments—such as laughter, listening without judgment, or showing empathy—significantly contribute to children’s sense of safety.
3. Empower Their Decision-Making
When parents solely dictate decisions, children may start to believe their opinions are inconsequential, leading to disengagement in their own lives.
Encourage their autonomy by posing questions like, “What do you think?” or “What feels right to you?” Allow them to make age-appropriate choices regarding their clothing, hobbies, or meals.
4. Acknowledge Your Mistakes
Parents often desire respect from their children, but modeling respect is equally important.
By apologizing when necessary, such as saying, “I overreacted earlier, and I’m sorry,” parents can demonstrate that relationships are founded on mutual respect rather than power dynamics.
In homes where accountability is the norm, children grow comfortable with their imperfections and feel empowered to come to their parents without fear of shame.
5. Establish Daily Quality Time
A sturdy relationship emerges not from singular, monumental conversations but through consistent, meaningful interactions over time.
The quality of your engagement, such as sharing meals, reading bedtime stories, or simply checking in on each other’s days, reinforces your bond. When children feel prioritized, they are more likely to remain close to you in their adult years.
6. Accept Their Authentic Selves
If children constantly experience comparisons or criticism, they may feel pressured to conform, leading them to hide their true thoughts and feelings.
Encouraging self-acceptance starts with parental responses. Celebrate their individuality instead of focusing on perceived shortcomings. Embrace their passions and interests, even if they diverge from your expectations, to communicate unconditional love.
7. Value the Relationship Over Being Right
Disagreements between parents and children are inevitable. If your aim is always to be correct at the expense of connection, your child may perceive your approval as conditional. While they may comply during childhood, they could create distance in adulthood.
Instead of striving to win an argument, prioritize understanding. When faced with differing opinions, engage with curiosity by asking, “Can you elaborate on why you feel that way?”
When children understand that they can express themselves freely while still being loved and respected, they mature into adults who trust their relationships instead of fearing them.
Reem Raouda is a leading expert in conscious parenting and the creator of BOUND, a transformative journal aimed at enhancing parent-child connections. Her work focuses on promoting emotional safety and the strengthening of family bonds. Connect with her on Instagram.
Source
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