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Social media platforms have recently seen a surge in video content where individuals share signs that led them to realize they might be autistic. Many viewers find these stories both enlightening and comforting, especially as a significant number of adults—predominantly women—remain undiagnosed well into adulthood.
Dr. Megan Anna Neff, a clinical psychologist in Oregon, notes that recent research indicates nearly 80% of women with autism remain undiagnosed by age 18. This gap can be attributed to various factors, including the tendency for individuals to modify their behaviors to conform to societal norms.
Moreover, the tools employed for diagnosing autism were primarily developed using data from white boys of higher socioeconomic backgrounds, as highlighted by Stephanie Gardner-Wright, a licensed social worker and autism specialist based in Michigan. This bias has led to an insufficient understanding of how autism manifests across different demographics.
Gardner-Wright points out a notable emphasis is placed on recognizable external signs of autism, often neglecting the varied internal experiences that differ significantly among individuals. As Dr. Neff elaborates, “There are numerous ways autism can manifest. The diversity within autism likely surpasses the distinctions between autistic and allistic individuals.”
Some telltale signs that may resonate with undiagnosed autistic adults include:
A Sense of Being ‘Different’
All four experts consulted identified that feeling different is a common experience among autistic individuals. Brandon Tessers, director of Effective Artistry—a therapy group catering to neurodivergent individuals—notes that some express feelings akin to being “an alien.” Dr. Vanessa Bal, who leads the Center for Adult Autism Services at Rutgers University, describes this as a lifelong experience of feeling distinct.
The critical distinction is that for autistic individuals, this feeling of being an outsider persists beyond fleeting moments experienced by others. Gardner-Wright highlights this internal sensation cannot be perceived externally. The intensity of this feeling can vary from overwhelming to subtle, depending on the الفرد.
However, it’s essential to recognize that autistic individuals do not perpetually feel like outsiders. They may seek out more accepting environments or, over time, find greater comfort in embracing their differences as strengths.
Challenges with Social Cues
Issues interpreting social cues can further indicate undiagnosed autism. For many, determining appropriate levels of eye contact or when to stop smiling during interactions may be particularly challenging. While some may successfully mask these uncertainties, the inherent understanding of social norms often remains elusive compared to their allistic counterparts.
Complex Relationship Histories
Neff observes that many undiagnosed autistic adults face convoluted social histories, with romantic relationships frequently proving difficult to navigate. These individuals often struggle to comprehend why some relationships abruptly dissolve, leaving them bewildered while observing that others do not face similar challenges.
Sensory Sensitivities
Sensitivity to sensory inputs, such as noise and light, is another prominent indicator of autism. Gardner-Wright notes that this can vary widely, with some individuals being hyper-aware of certain stimuli while remaining oblivious to others. For example, an autistic person may become acutely aware of a ticking clock or overly reactive to loud sounds.
Preference for Routine
Many individuals with autism find solace in routine amidst a world perceived as unpredictable. Neff explains that disruptions in routine can lead to heightened feelings of anxiety or irritability. Gardner-Wright adds that routines need not be rigid; preferences for specific daily objects or activities can also signify a desire for consistency. Major life changes can be particularly unsettling, potentially leading to insomnia or stress.
This consistency may extend to behaviors, including stimming—repetitive movements or sounds that offer comfort. According to the Children’s Hospital of Pennsylvania’s Research Institute, such behaviors can range from rocking to hand flapping.
The Need for Solitude
Research indicates that requiring solitude to recharge after social engagements is a typical sign of autism. Gardner-Wright explains that overstimulating environments can lead to significant fatigue. This sense of exhaustion is often linked to the need for ‘masking’ or ‘camouflaging’—a process whereby autistic individuals suppress certain behaviors to fit societal expectations.
While many engage in such behaviors to varying degrees, the extent to which autistic individuals must camouflage can lead to profound fatigue, requiring time spent alone to recuperate.
Intense Interests
Developing a deep passion for specific subjects or activities is common, with these interests often serving as a comfort mechanism. Neff emphasizes that while many people have interests, autistic individuals often relate everything back to their primary passion, which can shape their worldview.
Discomfort with Small Talk
Although many people find small talk tedious, for those on the autism spectrum, it can be especially draining or even unnecessary. Neff notes that individuals may structure their lives to minimize these types of interactions, preferring in-depth conversations instead.
Desire for Direct Communication
Autistic individuals often favor clear and straightforward communication. They may take phrases literally; for instance, hearing “raining cats and dogs” might trigger a visual interpretation rather than understanding the idiomatic expression. Neff observes that this preference for directness often reflects their communication style—what they say tends to be at face value.
Exploring the Signs
If you resonate with these signs, consider exploring the #actuallyautistic community online to connect with others sharing similar experiences. Gardner-Wright emphasizes that discovering one’s autism as an adult can be affirming but might also involve a grieving process for missed understanding in childhood.
Gardner-Wright notes that it’s normal to feel a mix of excitement and sorrow as you reflect on your journey. Additionally, resources such as embrace-autism.com offer screening tools to help you gain insight into your neurodivergent identity, though they are not diagnostic in nature.
Seeking Professional Support
Connecting with a therapist can be beneficial as you navigate these realizations, especially if they are affirming of neurodiversity. Bal advocates for greater education for mental health professionals regarding autism, as misconceptions remain prevalent. Additionally, while many autism centers focus on children, don’t hesitate to reach out to local organizations for resources and support.
Online communities, including those surrounding the #actuallyautistic hashtag, can also provide valuable support as you embark on this journey.
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