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Rebecca Lucy Taylor: Navigating Success and Self-Doubt

Three years ago, pop artist Rebecca Lucy Taylor, known as Self Esteem, launched her second album, Prioritise Pleasure. This album was a landmark achievement, earning accolades that included appearances at the top of end-of-year lists, the Guardian’s Album of the Year title, nominations for Brit and Mercury Music prizes, prominent placements on high-profile radio playlists, and a starring role in the West End production of Cabaret. Her triumph culminated in a headlining performance at a stadium gig in her hometown of Sheffield. But after this whirlwind of success, she found herself in a darker place.

“I got so fucking pissed off and miserable and depressed and crazy,” she stated candidly during a conversation in a quiet London pub as dusk settled outside. With a laugh, she acknowledged the intensity of her feelings after just one sip of wine.

Taylor described the profound effect of her recent successes, highlighting the heightened expectations and pressures that followed. “It’s not like I suddenly became globally famous,” she noted. “I finally had success after 15 years in the industry, and people were listening.”

Prioritise Pleasure was characterized by its witty and candid lyrics, tackling the experiences of a British millennial woman. Its stylized live performances drew on the influences of iconic figures like Madonna, while its lead single, “I Do This All the Time,” combined personal anecdotes with broader societal commentary. The song’s reflective and audacious nature resonated with many, solidifying the album’s status as a modern classic. Taylor shared that the song’s impact led to numerous opportunities she had long desired.

“I just worked nonstop; didn’t listen to anyone telling me to have a day off. And I hate, like, ‘burnout’,” she confessed. “But obviously, I was burned out. I really was.” Having battled depression for years, Taylor recognized that despite her accomplishments, an undercurrent of dissatisfaction lingered. “The reaction from everyone was confusing. Celebrating success while feeling so low was a contradiction,” she explained.

In response to these struggles, Taylor has been penning her next album, A Complicated Woman, set to be released in April. This album, she says, reflects a step forward in complexity and emotional depth. The structure ranges from spoken-word elements to anthems addressing personal growth and introspection.

“It was written ‘through gritted teeth’,” she admitted. “I’d have loved to have taken two years to really think it through.” The pressures of both time and financial stability made it difficult to wait. “Now that I’m 38, there’s a desire to capitalize on success quickly,” she continued.

Despite her distinction as a self-empowering figure, Taylor expressed feelings of insecurity about her image. She had wrestled with self-acceptance amidst the scrutiny of public life. “I wanted to be smaller, quieter, to fit in,” she remarked. She also reflected on her evolving relationship with identity and love, mentioning her bisexuality and a recent romance.

Taylor’s forthcoming songs probe deeper into the complexities of modern relationships. “It’s a reflection of uncertainty—you can love someone but also acknowledge the ambiguity that surrounds love,” she noted. This ongoing exploration is evident in her lyrical content, which oscillates between defiance and vulnerability.

As Taylor prepares for the new album release, she is also focused on major life changes, including purchasing her first home. “I’m freezing my eggs, buying a flat, and finishing the album. I’m juggling a lot,” she said, expressing excitement yet also frustration with the pace of these changes.

Throughout her career, Taylor has passionately addressed issues of sexism within the music industry. Reflecting on these experiences, she recalled feeling a need to conform to an image imposed by societal expectations. “While I’ve always had to navigate this male-dominated world, my music is about challenging these norms and reclaiming my agency,” she stated.

Her album is also steeped in references to her past with the band Slow Club, where she often felt sidelined due to her gender. “Leaving that band was about embracing my desire to be a bold, solo artist—not just blending into the indie background,” she explained.

Having recently starred in Cabaret, Taylor found herself reconciling her passion for acting with her music career. “The role of Sally Bowles resonated deeply with me,” she shared. It allowed her to channel some of her struggles and experiences on stage, making the performance intensely personal.

The artist continues to grapple with the duality of her success—as both empowering and overwhelming. “I often feel disheartened when faced with criticism, despite knowing I’ve made progress,” she reflected. Yet, she remains determined to persevere and embrace her authenticity through her music.

Reflecting on her artists’ journey, she concluded, “It’s about moving forward and evolving—even when it feels complicated.” As she readies to launch A Complicated Woman, Taylor remains committed to exploring the multifaceted nature of her identity and the complexities of contemporary life.

A Complicated Woman is set for release at the end of April.

Source
www.theguardian.com