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The question I find myself approaching 80 years of age, grappling with what I believe some might call existential boredom. It’s a struggle that feels like it has lingered for ages. I’ve accomplished all my goals and more, yet I now feel adrift, uncertain about what lies ahead. Friends suggest I should take up a hobby or join a community group, but they do not understand the depths of this profound emptiness I feel. I can’t help but envy those who seem unaffected. What do you recommend I do?
Philippa’s answer The sense of existential boredom you’re experiencing transcends ordinary idleness; it’s indicative of something far more profound. It’s understandable that you might feel a sense of frustration when others suggest simple distractions like hobbies as solutions, as if merely keeping busy can resolve internal struggles.
This stage in your life is less about external pursuits and more about personal evolution. Recognizing that you still possess the agency to shape your future is crucial. What comes next might not center on achieving tangible outcomes but could involve an inner exploration of your own identity and a quest for the next chapter in your life. This path can feel incredibly isolating, but it also offers the potential for significant self-discovery.
With your past accomplishments behind you, it’s natural to feel a disconnect in your current circumstances. Philosophers who study existentialism refer to this phase as “the existential vacuum,” a state where familiar meanings fade and previous activities no longer fulfill you. This experience is not unique; many individuals who have led rich, accomplished lives confront similar feelings once conventional ambitions have been fulfilled. The deeper inquiry that emerges is: What remains?
As you approach this advanced stage of life, it’s likely that you are not only navigating boredom but also confronting a deeper existential dilemma. The acknowledgment of your own mortality, as discussed by existential psychotherapist Rollo May, can create feelings of emptiness. However, this realization could also serve as a catalyst for deeper engagement with life.
Instead of viewing your boredom as a problem, consider it a summons to explore a more meaningful engagement with your existence—one that goes beyond old goals and achievements. The core issue appears to be about seeking meaning at this juncture in your life. You now have the liberty to redefine what is meaningful, free from the constraints of past aspirations.
Meaning is not a one-time achievement; it is something we continuously create throughout our lives. Standing at this pivotal moment allows you to redefine what matters without being tethered to previous accomplishments. This newfound freedom empowers you to engage in ways that resonate with the individual you are evolving into.
While this concept may seem intimidating, Rollo May’s notion of creativity applies here—not necessarily in artistic expression, but in how you engage with life itself. Your ambitions may have shifted away from traditional markers of success, but the creative process is still alive. Consider what novel ways of living or forming connections might ignite your passions. Even small contributions—such as mentoring or sharing conversations—can impart meaning and connection.
Addressing boredom isn’t about remaining “busy” with trivial matters; it’s about reflecting on what resonates with you. This is about reclaiming personal freedom, even when it feels daunting, and confronting the areas of your life that remain unexplored. Are there conversations you’ve longed to initiate or connections you wish to deepen? Perhaps this phase invites you to confront your authenticity. What speaks to your essence now that many of your earlier pursuits have reached completion?
Additionally, the idea of “non-being” looms as a shadow in this exploration. Rollo May would argue that embracing this reality can sharpen your sense of purpose in the present. Instead of viewing the inevitability of life’s end with despair, consider that your finite existence imbues life with greater significance. The awareness of mortality enriches your experiences now.
You are not alone in this journey. Many people face the daunting question of “what next?” However, your current feelings are not indicative of a lack of imagination. Rather, they reflect a universal aspect of the human condition, presenting you with an opportunity to reshape your understanding of meaning—no matter your age.
Recommended reading Boredom: A Lively History by Peter Toohey
Every week, Philippa Perry addresses personal dilemmas provided by readers. If you seek advice, submissions are welcome, subject to our terms and conditions.
Source
www.theguardian.com