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For over two decades, I have been privileged to partner with numerous CEOs and wealthy individuals, assisting them in reaching their business and personal aspirations, particularly through the creation of legacy projects that have a lasting impact.
Throughout this journey, I have come to appreciate a crucial distinction between happiness and fulfillment, understanding that recognizing this difference is vitally important for both personal and professional success.
Happiness, while significant, is often temporary. It can be experienced following a successful sale, strong quarterly results, or a promotion. Such moments of joy provide a boost, akin to a rush of dopamine, but they tend to dissipate quickly and do not fundamentally alter our day-to-day existence. In contrast, fulfillment stems from a long-term dedication to a passion, goal, or dream, often associated with a commitment to something that transcends oneself, such as family, a cause, or community. In essence, fulfillment can be seen as a prolonged and profound sense of happiness.
Innately, we understand that while happiness is transient, fulfillment should ideally be our long-term goal. However, too many individuals remain focused on fleeting happiness, leading millions to experience stress, health issues, and severe mental health challenges such as depression and addiction.
This raises an important question: how can we shift from chasing immediate gratification towards achieving lasting fulfillment?
Step 1. Focus on Self-Care
Although it may seem simplistic, the reality is that achieving fulfillment is impossible without first prioritizing one’s body and mind. Nurturing our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health is the cornerstone of any significant accomplishment.
A practical starting point is to pay attention to diet and exercise. This doesn’t necessitate living like an elite athlete; even minor lifestyle changes can lead to substantial improvements both physically and mentally.
For diet, I find inspiration in Michael Pollan’s guideline from his book, The Omnivore’s Dilemma: “Eat (real) food, not too much, mostly plants.” This suggests minimizing heavily processed foods and red meats in favor of fruits and vegetables. Following this straightforward advice can lead to remarkable benefits.
Regarding exercise, every bit counts. The mantra “Use it or lose it” serves as a valuable reminder. According to a study from 2013, a lack of regular exercise results in a loss of lean body mass and overall strength as we age, particularly after 40. If you’re currently inactive, begin gradually—short walks offer significant health advantages. A recent Harvard report from 2023 highlighted that walking just 20 minutes daily can halve the incidence of obesity, alleviate joint pain, reduce cancer risks, and enhance immune function. Workers who engaged in this basic form of activity experienced 43% fewer sick days compared to their sedentary peers. Finding just 100 minutes per week to walk is attainable for nearly everyone.
Step 2. Find Purpose Beyond Yourself
A prevalent theme among various self-improvement programs is the emphasis on introspection. However, identifying a purpose greater than oneself is even more crucial for lasting fulfillment. While personal growth is indeed part of the process, the ultimate goal should be altruistic. This outward focus complements Step 1, reinforcing the need for connection with others.
The Polyvagal Theory formulated by Dr. Stephen Porges emphasizes humanity’s inherent need for meaningful social connections, which are vital for regulating our emotional and physiological health. Furthermore, in 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General highlighted that loneliness, exacerbated by the pandemic and increased digital isolation, poses health risks comparable to smoking—its effects akin to smoking up to 15 cigarettes daily.
What does a fulfilling connection look like? It can be as simple as having coffee with a neighbor or as involved as coaching a youth team or volunteering. Such interactions are far more gratifying than virtual engagements through social media or video calls.
Step 3. Reassess Success
In Western society, there is a common belief that happiness stems from success, yet I contend that our perception of success is fundamentally flawed. Typically, success is equated with wealth, fame, and power, along with the notion that more is inherently better—more money, more possessions, more attention. However, many of the wealthiest and most “successful” individuals I have encountered experience profound dissatisfaction. Despite achieving expected markers of success, they often feel unfulfilled.
A 2018 study indicated that an alarming 49% of CEOs struggle with mental health issues, compared to less than 23% of the general U.S. population, with many expressing feelings of exhaustion and continual stress.
In short, pursuing short-lived joy through material wealth and social media accolades can create a never-ending cycle of dissatisfaction, increasing stress and unhappiness. Instead, by investing in self-improvement physically and emotionally, you cultivate the capacity to look outward effectively. This pathway fosters growth in leadership, friendships, coaching, and parenting, creating a self-sustaining cycle of enhancement.
Source
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