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In the initial years of our marriage, my husband and I did not have a fixed “date night.” Occasionally, we dined out, and other times we prepared meals together. Yet, these outings were infrequent and went unnamed. The pandemic changed our routine, prompting us to designate Sunday evenings as our official “date night,” an effort to break the mundane cycle of life during early 2020.
We transformed Sundays into an opportunity for elaborate meal preparation together. While Wednesday evenings are for simple one-pot dishes, Sunday nights allow us to try more complex recipes, complete with a main dish and two sides. With an extensive collection of cookbooks at our disposal, this has become our time to cook from them. We deliberately purchase ingredients specific to this meal and occasionally indulge in higher-quality proteins, like salmon. Since we seldom drink at home, date night involves picking up a bottle of wine.
Setting the scene with candles and curated playlists (like a New England-themed mix for our shrimp roll night) enhances our experience. Now, five years into this routine, our date nights thrive, reminding us that memorable experiences don’t have to come with a hefty price tag—especially as dining out has become increasingly costly. In today’s climate, where a meal at a trendy restaurant can easily strain one’s budget, staying in has proven to be a delightful alternative.
As many couples reevaluate what “date night” means to them in recent years, the motivations include shifts in family dynamics, economic considerations, or altered daily patterns. Going out is pricier than before, leading some to tighten their dining choices, while others dine out less frequently. Below, we explore the modern interpretations of “date night” through discussions with couples nationwide.
Gabriella and Giovanna Favilli-Vigoreaux, 34 and 29
Owners of Bandidas Bake Shop
Together for five years, married for two
Lakeland, Florida
Eater: What does “date night” mean for you?
Gabriella: Living in a small town limits our options for dining out since many places close early. Therefore, we seek out recipes in our cookbooks and enjoy the creativity of following new instructions. Preparing meals at home is often more satisfying than dining out, allowing us to save money and enjoy leftovers. The heart of our date night is undoubtedly in the cooking itself, followed by simply unwinding together afterward.
What are you cooking?
Giovanna: We generally make a salad or side dish, a main protein, and sometimes a dessert.
Gabriella: Our pantry is well-stocked, so we primarily need to purchase the protein and fresh produce.
Giovanna: We recently acquired a hydroponic herb garden, so we can enhance our salads with fresh herbs.
How do you keep cooking together from feeling like work? Do you talk about work on date night?
Giovanna: The special element of date night is the shared effort—choosing, preparing, and cleaning up the meal together. As we run a breakfast and lunch restaurant, we rarely have the opportunity to prepare proteins ourselves, making this time together extra meaningful.
Gabriella: Opening our bakery has been a long-held dream. Despite the challenges and emotional strain, we find joy in the journey and often debate future strategies and improvements.
Giovanna: Our discussions lean more towards our aspirations and the more enjoyable aspects of building our business.
Frequency: Once a week, every other week if we’re particularly busy
Typical cost: No more than $30 for extra ingredients
Jennifer and Justin K., both 38
Lawyer and marketing director
Together for 12 years, married for seven years
Denver
What does “date night” mean for you?
Jennifer: We enjoy dining out, though since having children, our date nights have become less frequent. We’ve prioritized supporting local restaurants, while also trying out newer, acclaimed eateries.
What are you looking for in a restaurant?
Jennifer: For us, it’s about the complete experience, not just the food quality.
Justin: We often don’t have the privacy to engage with each other while dining out, so the ambiance and comfort of the seating also matter greatly.
How has your approach to date night changed over time?
Jennifer: We’ve become much choosier about our dining destinations. Previously, we would just try new places; now, we research and read reviews beforehand.
Justin: As parents, we don’t have the luxury to try many new spots, so we hope that our first choice will meet our expectations and earn a place in our rotation.
Jennifer: Our schedules and finances feel more precious, making it crucial to make our date nights worthwhile.
Frequency: Approximately once a month
Typical cost: $150 to $200 before tax and tip, plus $100 for childcare
Anu Menon and Suyog Mody, 40 and 41
Co-founders of Driftaway Coffee
Together for 20 years, married for 16 years
New York
What does “date night” mean for you?
AM: With most of our evenings at home, date night offers us a chance to step out and connect without our work hats on. After beginning to work together, it became vital for us to carve out time as a couple separate from our professional lives. We aim for weekly Wednesday date nights, even if we can’t manage it every week.
How do you plan your date nights?
AM: We take turns planning our outings, often surprising one another with the destination.
SM: Often, it’s a spontaneous guessing game based on our commute. Our outings may include dining or fun activities. While we seek trendy spots, we also enjoy culinary adventures in places like Flushing.
AM: If we have a dinner date, we try to extend it to maximize our conversation time, typically from 7 to 10 or 11 p.m.
How do you approach work talk on date night?
AM: Initially, we let out any pressing concerns during the first hour.
SM: Post that, we establish a rule: the office is closed.
AM: While some work-related topics may reappear, they center on broader reflections rather than immediate challenges. That’s the aspect we appreciate, steering away from problem-solving during date night.
Frequency: About twice a month
Typical cost: Generally no more than $200, including tax and tip
Lauren J. Mapp and Peter Hefti, 39 and 40
Freelance journalist and co-founder of Daylight San Diego; accountant
Together for 10 years, married for five years
San Diego
What does “date night” mean for you?
LM: Since 2022, our go-to date night has evolved into a “Conservas Saturday.” We discovered a love for tinned seafood, finding this routine helpful amidst our chaotic post-pandemic schedules. It typically starts with a walk before diving into music while we create a conservas board, ensuring our living environment remains a space for connection devoid of screens.
What’s on a typical Conservas Saturday spread?
Over the course of our tradition, we’ve savored over 30 varieties of tinned seafood. Our spreads often include crackers, homemade sourdough, assorted cheeses, salami, and jams—simple delights we enjoy and often pick up fresh.
Lately, we’ve modified our Conservas Saturday to sometimes include breakfast as we shift away from red meat, using our tinned fish selections to fuel Saturday hikes.
Why has the tradition stuck?
We both appreciate cooking and dining out, yet restaurant prices can escalate quickly. Some meals can reach $200 or $300, with long waits for reservations. Our Conservas evenings have allowed us to explore our culinary interests within a budget while enjoying quality time together.
Frequency: A few times a month
Typical cost: $80 to $100, including wine; typically $12-15 per tin of fish
Jeanne G., 49
Data analyst
Seattle
What does “date night” mean for you?
JG: For nearly 25 years, I’ve enjoyed solo date nights as a way to honor myself. Initially, it was about treating myself to something nice each Friday. Rather than waiting for someone else to present those moments, I’ve embraced the notion that I deserve special experiences.
Do you always go out for solo date night?
While I don’t maintain a strict weekly schedule anymore, especially since I’m more cautious during COVID, I still carve out special time for myself every week—be it for a delicious dinner or a craft cocktail.
How do you decide when to go to a restaurant?
Currently, my outings tend to revolve around special occasions, whether it’s my birthday or a moment I designate to celebrate. Sometimes, I simply need a delightful experience during tough times.
Frequency: Weekly
Typical cost: Approximately $25 for at-home meals; varies for dining out
Jennifer W. and Miles D., 25
Student and researcher; consultant
Dating for three years
Boston
What does “date night” mean for you?
JW: After planning international trips, we’re opting to spend more evenings in. With my partner working long hours in investment banking, home-cooked evenings let us share time together more effectively. Sometimes, we choose one of our places to prepare meals.
How do you decide what to cook?
We typically send each other meal suggestions before narrowing it down, often starting with the question, “What don’t you want to have?” This way, we can make meals based on available ingredients that might need using up.
How do you incorporate solo date nights into your life?
Having alone time is essential for me; sometimes I simply crave a meal out with a good book. These solo excursions often highlight meals I desire without setting up a whole date for two.
Frequency: Weekly for coupled dates; every few weeks for solo outings
Typical cost: Around $15 extra for shared cooking; up to $115 for a solo date
Who pays: Typically, the host for the meal
Mandy Seiner and Jackson Maxwell, 28 and 29
Tech education nonprofit worker and music journalist
Dating for five and a half years
New York
What does date night mean for you?
MS: Date night is our chance to escape the monotony of daily life, to do something enjoyable together. We regularly allocate a specific evening for our outings—most commonly, a weekly movie night where we sneak snacks into the theater.
Who plans date night?
JM: Mandy keeps her finger on the pulse of the dining scene, often surprising me with invitations to new spots I’ve yet to come across.
MS: In part, I seek out places that are new but not yet open, which can lead to excitement. [Laughs]
JM: For special occasions like Mandy’s birthday or our anniversary, I make the effort to plan something memorable, tailoring my choices to her preferences.
How do you celebrate special occasions?
MS: We enjoy a “class and trash” approach—a fancier experience followed by something more casual, like a taco run after a distillery visit. It’s a balance of enjoying the best of both experiences.
JM: Our most extravagant meal was our fifth anniversary at The Modern, a two-Michelin-star restaurant, followed by a quick visit to Taco Bell afterwards.
MS: We relish extending our time together and don’t take ourselves too seriously; we can enjoy nice experiences while also embracing our simpler tastes.
Frequency: Weekly
Typical cost: $25 each for casual meals, $50-60 each for when we dine upscale, with fewer restrictions during special events
Isa S., 33
Program coordinator
Washington, D.C.
Can you describe your current relationship structure?
IS: I practice solo polyamory, choosing not to have primary partners. Currently, I am romantically seeing three different individuals, offering varying degrees of intimacy and connection, while actually developing feelings for someone new.
What does “date night” mean for you?
I have been involved with N since 2022; our dates are somewhat special due to their existing commitments, allowing us to dine out every other week. It’s a treat since our time together is less regular, making these outings feel particularly special.
I’ve been seeing R and S since early 2024, with R having multiple partners as well. I usually try to accommodate our visits without overlapping with their plans. I see R weekly, often sharing meals at home along with takeout, whereas with S, our dates typically involve cooking together.
Who pays?
With N, I prefer a more equitable split but they usually insist on treating. With R, they cover more often as it feels more significant on those occasions when I can take care of the bill. With S, we tend to share costs more evenly.
Frequency: Varies among partners
Typical cost: $50 to $70 after delivery fees
Matt Ortile, 33
Editor at Condé Nast Traveler
New York City
What does “date night” mean for you?
MO: Prioritizing dinner dates once felt essential, but I’ve had to navigate the rising costs of dining out more strategically. Now, instead of opting for elaborate dinners as initial outings, I prefer casual meetings over drinks or light bites to assess compatibility.
What are you looking for in a restaurant for an early-stage date?
For less familiar connections, I favor casual venues, reserving exciting dining experiences for someone truly special. This approach allows for more relaxed exploration of new culinary spots alongside new acquaintances.
How are you approaching the cost of dining with newer dates?
I typically go Dutch without scrutinizing small differences in orders. Balancing spending with shared experiences is important, ensuring value not just for money but for my time and effort invested.
Frequency: About once or twice a month
Typical cost: $75 to $80 after tax and tip
Bryn and Sarah Jackson, 35 and 36
Content creators @cultflav
Together for 17 years, married for 14 years
Los Angeles
What does “date night” mean for you?
BJ: Our intense work schedules prompt us to reserve Sunday evenings for date night ahead of time, ensuring we explore new restaurants often and escape our hectic routine.
Is there any part of creating content together that feels like a date?
SJ: While creating content can feel labor-intensive, it often lacks the spontaneity of a traditional date. However, we’ve enjoyed blind taste-testing events as a fun way to forge deeper connections through shared culinary experiences.
How are you approaching or deciding on food at restaurants?
BJ: We frequently feel that the main dishes often don’t justify their price, so we choose to sample multiple appetizers instead, sharing a few main items as well. This strategy has also led to more engaging conversations about food in our videos.
Frequency: Weekly
Typical cost: Varies
Reema and John B., 35
Food photographer and restaurant events manager
Washington, D.C.
Together for 15 years, married for eight years
What does “date night” mean for you?
RB: In the beginning, our dates mirrored societal expectations: formal dinners and expenditure. Over time, we learned to embrace what resonated with us—whether enjoying casual gatherings on the rooftop or spending time at neighborhood bars. We appreciate authenticity more than formality.
When you stay in, are you cooking together or ordering in?
We both engage in cooking, often dividing tasks so that one prepares while the other cooks. We love sharing a drink, enjoying music, and having honest conversations—finding connection without the formality of dining out.
How does cost factor into your date night decisions?
While we don’t impose a strict budget, our awareness of expenses has grown, particularly given the current political climate. We aim to be resourceful, growing our own food and patronizing local spots where we’re known, often benefiting from complimentary dishes.
Frequency: Twice a week
Typical cost: Generally between $30-$50
These interviews have been edited and condensed for length and clarity.
Source
www.eater.com