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I’ve Grown Fearful of My Own Memories

Photo credit: www.bbc.com

After the Conflict: The Ongoing Struggles of Gaza’s Rescue Workers

In the aftermath of prolonged conflict, Gaza City bears the heavy scars of destruction, exemplified in the harrowing experiences recounted by rescue workers. Abdullah al-Majdalawi, a member of the Civil Defence in Gaza, expressed his deep emotional toll, stating, “I have become afraid of my own memories.”

At countless funerals held across Gaza over the past year and more, the bright orange vests of Civil Defence workers have been honored as symbols of sacrifice. These garments, often caked in dust or stained with blood, signify the commitment of those who have risked their lives to save others.

Throughout the devastating Israeli bombardments, the Civil Defence played a critical role in extracting both survivors and victims from the wreckage. In this exhausting endeavor, 99 rescue workers have tragically lost their lives, and many more have sustained injuries, altering their lives forever.

During the burials of their fallen members, it is customary for Civil Defence colleagues to drape the vests of the deceased over their graves. “We put the vest there because our colleague sacrificed his soul in it,” said Nooh al-Shaghnobi, a 24-year-old rescue worker. “We hope it will show God that this man did good with his life, that he saved others.”

Recent statistics provided by the Hamas-run health ministry reveal that over 47,000 Palestinians, predominantly women and children, have lost their lives since the onset of the conflict, with injury counts reaching over 111,000. These figures are considered plausible by the United Nations. A study in the Lancet medical journal suggests that the toll may have been significantly underestimated, with discrepancies exceeding 40% for the first nine months of the war.

Rebuilding Amidst Ruins

As a fragile ceasefire takes root, rescue workers are now tasked with the challenging process of recovery. The Civil Defence estimates that more than 10,000 individuals remain buried beneath the extensive rubble that now characterizes large swathes of Gaza. This figure is based on a meticulous tracking system that logged individuals present in destroyed buildings, although certain areas occupied by Israeli forces lack detailed records.

Working in the Tel el-Hawa area, Al-Shaghnobi encountered a resident who provided critical details about a collapsed apartment building. “He told us seven dead were recovered, but there was an elderly gentleman, a child, and an infant left behind,” he recounted. Utilizing a nearby bulldozer, Al-Shaghnobi’s team managed to excavate and recover the remains of three individuals that matched the witness’s descriptions.

Al-Shaghnobi has gained a following on social media, sharing his challenging work experiences while documenting the overwhelming burdens that accompany his role. Graphic imagery illustrates the chaos and sorrow he witnesses daily, including one heart-wrenching video where he carefully retrieves an infant from the debris.

“You should become numb as time goes on,” he acknowledged, reflecting on his evolving emotional state. “But I have become worse. I feel more pain, not less. I have seen 50 of my colleagues die in front of me. Who outside of Gaza can imagine this?”

The Need for Psychological Support

In contrast, the psychological resources available for those laboring in Gaza are severely lacking. None of the rescue workers interviewed indicated they had received counseling, despite a profound need for emotional support. “We all need this,” said Mohammed Lafi, another 25-year-old Civil Defence member. “But no one talks about it.”

Lafi, who has served with the agency for six years, also articulated the personal turmoil he experiences. “When I pull the body of a baby from the rubble, I scream inside myself if he is the same age as my son. My body shakes,” he lamented.

Despite the emergence of needed psychological care for Israeli hostages released from captivity, Gazan rescue workers remain without such assistance. Abdullah al-Majdalawi emphasized the impact of their ongoing trauma, noting, “A year of therapy would not be enough for one day of this job.” He described feelings of isolation and tension, revealing the internal battles he faces while trying to cope with the horrifying realities of his work.

The Challenges Ahead

As the ceasefire unfolds, images emerging from Gaza depict scenes of utter devastation, particularly in the northern region. The Civil Defence aims to recover the remaining deceased within 100 days, but the task is formidable, notably due to a lack of machinery and heavy equipment. Claims have surfaced that Israeli forces have deliberately targeted and destroyed the necessary resources of the Civil Defence, a charge that Israel refutes.

Currently relying on rudimentary tools, Civil Defence workers struggle to make progress in their recovery efforts. According to agency statements, only 162 bodies have been retrieved since the ceasefire commenced nearly a week ago. The UN Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs (OCHA) has warned that the recovery of bodies could take years, considering the high volume of rubble, unexploded ordnance, and hazardous materials in the area.

Efforts are further complicated by the deteriorated conditions in which families search for missing loved ones. Such searches often involve sifting through remains at the European Hospital in Khan Younis, where pleading family members hope to identify their relatives among the recovered bodies.

“I believe I will recognize my son immediately, even if his face has no features and he is only a skeleton,” stressed Ali Ashour, a father searching for his 18-year-old son.

Al-Shaghnobi concluded by reiterating the essential nature of their work amidst the rubble. “These people need to be found and honored. This work awaits us. All we need is the equipment and we will do it.”

Source
www.bbc.com

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