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Kate Morris, a dedicated journalist and mother of two, shares her experiences with insomnia while managing family life with her husband, Luke, a professional photographer based in London.
On average, Kate Morris gets only five to six hours of sleep each night. (Luke White Photography)
Living with chronic insomnia has profoundly impacted my life since I first experienced it at 18. The struggle to find restful sleep feels like a relentless battle.
Typically, I manage to get about five or six hours of sleep per night, but there are days when that drops to three or four. When I manage to hit the seven-hour mark, I feel like I can conquer the world—a rarity that leaves me envious of those who consistently enjoy such restful nights.
Statistics show that nearly three-quarters (71%) of adults in the UK don’t meet the recommended seven to nine hours of sleep each night, and around one in five experience significant sleep disturbances.
The Impact of Insomnia
My inability to achieve adequate sleep affects various aspects of my life. It hampers my mood, focus, and cognitive function. On the more sleepless days, I tend to feel anxious, lethargic, irritable, and unable to perform effectively.
The connection between insufficient sleep and mental health is undeniable. I often reflect on how much more positive and effective I could be if I managed to get better sleep. It’s no accident that I’ve spent only one year in a traditional office setting, largely due to my history of poor sleep, which sometimes required me to take mid-day naps.
I firmly believe that better sleep could lead to a more positive outlook on life.
The experience of lying awake is not only frustrating but can also be disheartening. My mind often spirals into a cycle of negative thoughts as I ruminate on trivial concerns, question my social connections, and evaluate my sense of achievement.
Identifying Triggers
Certain factors exacerbate my sleep difficulties. For instance, consuming caffeine after midday significantly disrupts my sleep. Even the simple pleasure of chocolate can keep me awake, while an engaging social event often leaves me too stimulated to rest.
Travel can also be a significant sleep disruptor. During a recent trip to Greece, the thrill of being away was overshadowed by my anxiety about not having enough melatonin pills, resulting in several sleepless nights filled with restlessness and discomfort.
It’s easier to manage my irregular sleeping patterns by working from home whenever possible. (Luke White Photography)
Seeking Solutions
Over the years, I’ve explored various techniques to improve my sleep, some of which offer short-term benefits. An insomnia-stricken friend suggested I participate in a weekend Acem meditation course, and I found that repeating a mantra sometimes helped me fall asleep faster. While this method has proved useful at times, it’s not always reliable.
A thoughtful gift from my daughter—a lavender and magnesium lotion—was effective for a while, especially when paired with melatonin supplements that allowed me to achieve deeper sleep.
I’ve also ventured into listening to podcasts. However, if the material is too captivating, it can energize rather than relax me. Fearne Cotton’s discussion on Davina McCall’s Begin Again podcast resonated with me, particularly her revelation about sleeplessness related to anxiety before a significant radio show. This sentiment echoes my experience; the pressure of upcoming commitments often prevents me from resting peacefully.
Managing Sleep with Young Children
During the early years of parenthood, the exhaustion I faced was overwhelming. The situation worsened when my son learned to escape his bed, coming to our room and disrupting my sleep further.
One particularly taxing morning, overwhelmed with fatigue and a pounding headache, I reacted harshly to our au pair for a minor issue. Her response led me to realize how much my feelings were affected by lack of sleep, leaving me feeling distressed and unlike myself.
Later that day, after taking my son to nursery, I confided in the head teacher about my sleepless nights. She suggested a firm approach to keep him in his own bed, which, while radical, proved effective within 48 hours.
The Risks of Sleeping Medication
The exhaustion following the birth of my daughter led me to reluctantly start taking sleeping pills. Initially, my doctor recommended lifestyle changes, such as quitting caffeine and practicing mindfulness. Frustrated, I returned to request medication, leading to a prescription.
In the beginning, the pills offered a sense of security, albeit with an unsettling lack of restfulness. Gradually, I became reliant on them, and my dosage was increased.
The moment of realization came when I inadvertently left cash at an ATM, and I knew I had to stop. I felt constantly on edge and not myself.
Although I kept the pills in my nightstand for comfort, I recognized I needed to move past relying on them.
Methods That Aid My Sleep
While insomnia can be an overwhelming challenge, I believe it is possible to enhance sleep habits. It’s also reassuring to learn that some individuals function well with less than eight hours of sleep. I find six hours acceptable, seven ideal, and can manage with as little as five, albeit on a subpar level.
By maintaining discipline—such as turning off screens before bed, avoiding late meals, enjoying sleepy tea, taking melatonin, and applying magnesium and lavender spray, I stand a better chance of getting sleep. Though there are no certainties regarding duration, it’s a comforting routine.
I have seen improvements in my sleep over time and am grateful for the progress.
Photography by Luke White Photography.
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