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Overcoming My Fear of Saying No

Photo credit: www.broadwayworld.com

Eden Espinosa Reflects on Her Journey with Lempicka

Actress Eden Espinosa has recently shared her heartfelt experiences regarding her role in the musical Lempicka, which had a brief stint on Broadway. In a candid conversation with Bobby Steggert on the Quiet Part Out Loud podcast, she discussed the emotional challenges associated with portraying the lead character in the production.

“I was literally a shell of a human on that stage,” Espinosa expressed, revealing the intense pressure she faced in the demanding role. “I hate to say this, but I would not have made it any longer than that. Like it was not meant to run that long. No one person was meant to do what I was doing in that role because I was afraid to say no.”

Despite receiving critical acclaim and a Tony Award nomination for her performance, Espinosa admitted to holding back from advocating for herself due to the scarcity of substantial roles for women in musicals, especially for those of her age. She articulated, “I have so much compassion for the desperation and the lack of advocacy for ourselves.”

Reflecting on her experiences, she noted, “It’s wild to me now that I’ve looked back and go, ‘Oh my God,’ just so many things with my journey of Lempicka, just not advocating for myself because this is it. There are not many roles like this for women my age. I spent years developing this character – when’s my next one gonna be? When I’m 60?”

Having invested significant time in the development of her character and undergoing two out-of-town tryouts prior to Broadway, Espinosa now contemplates stepping away from the role as it evolved. “When something develops over time and you might not necessarily agree with the way that it’s going, fear can prevent you from stepping away and saying, ‘I love you guys and I love this. I just don’t think this is the character we originally signed on for and I wish you the best, but I’m going to step away.’ That takes a lot of courage and self-awareness. I want everyone to have that in their life,” she remarked.

When Steggert asked her if she wished she had withdrawn from the production, she noted that those thoughts did not occur to her “in real time.” She explained, “In hindsight, I’m like, ‘Oh my God, I was in fight or flight the entire time.’ So not aware,” indicating a journey toward greater self-awareness. “I have learned the lesson that the only person that matters in this instance is me at the moment. If it’s not in alignment with my core values, my nervous system, or my well-being, then the answer is no.”

Lempicka, which depicts the life of the iconic artist Tamara de Lempicka, showcased decades of personal and political turbulence through an engaging pop-infused score. The musical illuminated the complexities of a woman ahead of her time and an artist whose relevance has been reaffirmed.

The production opened on April 14, 2024, and concluded its run on May 19, following a total of 27 previews and 41 performances at the Longacre Theatre.

Source
www.broadwayworld.com

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