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Every day, Bustle’s tarot writer Carolyn Steber turns to her deck to answer readers’ questions.
Q: My best friend’s wedding will put me $4,000 in debt. Should I go?
A: While you may have anticipated your role in your best friend’s wedding, it’s likely you didn’t expect the financial burden it would entail. Now, facing a steep potential debt is understandably alarming.
Costs can accumulate rapidly when it comes to weddings, with expenditures on events such as bachelorette parties, bridal showers, accommodations, gifts, travel, and more easily reaching the hundreds. If you’re stepping into the role of bridesmaid or maid of honor, the financial strain can become even more pronounced, as revealed by studies indicating that 35% of bridesmaids and 43% of maids of honor experience debt as a result of these obligations.
Supporting a close friend on such a significant occasion can make it challenging to broach the topic of escalating costs. The societal expectation is often to show generosity and poise, but it’s crucial to remember that your financial responsibilities still stand.
Weighing the Value of Attendance
The Hanged Man embodies themes of sacrifice, letting go, and surrender, suggesting that attending the wedding would ultimately be beneficial. If you’ve committed to being part of your friend’s bridal party, withdrawing now could harm that relationship. While it’s true that you could save money by not attending, one must consider the potential long-term impacts of not supporting your friend.
In years to come, the cost of the bridesmaid dress may fade from memory, but the joyful experiences shared during your friend’s celebration will likely remain vivid. This perspective allows you to see the wedding as an opportunity for a memorable experience rather than merely a financial burden. Embrace the chance to support someone who has been there for you.
Now is the time to put any thoughts of backing out aside and embrace the decision to attend.
Communicating Financial Concerns
While it’s important to show up for your friend, you are not required to endure financial distress in silence. If your relationship is built on trust, consider discussing your financial situation with her.
The Knight of Cups symbolizes tact and negotiation, suggesting that sharing your concerns may be a wise move. Bottling up these feelings can unintentionally strain your friendship, so it’s best to approach her sooner rather than later, letting her know about your financial predicament.
Given that the cups also represent emotions, a thoughtfully communicated concern may help adjust the plans. Sometimes brides are willing to cover costs like dresses or makeup to ensure their friends can be present. It never hurts to ask, especially if approached with kindness and understanding.
For more, check out your horoscope.
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