Photo credit: hechingerreport.org
For over a century, human intelligence has often been evaluated by quantifiable measures such as IQ tests or standardized assessments. Educational frameworks have largely relied on the premise that equipping students with vast amounts of knowledge would inherently lead to progress.
This approach has centered around rewarding accomplishments such as correct answers and individual competition, while sparking a neglect of collaborative skills and the importance of interpersonal relationships. As a result, the ramifications of this oversight are becoming alarmingly clear. In 2020, research indicated that 44 percent of high school students reported a lack of supportive relationships, either from peers or adults, marking a stark decline from previous years.
Additionally, IQ scores, which had consistently risen throughout the 20th century in a trend referred to as the Flynn effect, are now on a downturn in various Western countries, including the U.S., affecting both adults and children. Recent NAEP assessments highlight that most fourth and eighth graders continue to fall short of pre-pandemic proficiency in reading and math. Meanwhile, emotional intelligence (EQ), despite being one of the most sought-after traits, faces its own limitations as we grapple with pervasive issues of loneliness and social division, even as social-emotional learning gains traction in educational settings.
Related: Become a lifelong learner. Join our free weekly newsletter for comprehensive reporting delivered directly to your inbox.
True intelligence extends well beyond mastery of algebra or grammar; it is fundamentally about the ability to cultivate relationships, build trust, and collaborate effectively in our interconnected society. In a future increasingly dominated by artificial intelligence, our most valuable asset may not be cognitive or emotional intelligence, but rather RQ — Relational Intelligence — the aptitude for establishing, comprehending, and flourishing through human connections.
Historically, survival has hinged on social connections, involving families, communities, and shared responsibilities. However, in our relentless quest for data and efficiency, we have progressively undervalued these relationships. We have created educational systems that emphasize personal success over collective problem-solving, workplace environments that favor productivity over interpersonal dynamics, and policies that view caregiving as an individual obligation rather than a communal duty.
As artificial intelligence continues to automate tasks that have traditionally been associated with intelligence, we must critically examine what attributes remain distinctly human.
Human skills — our capacity to engender trust, perceive emotions, and forge deep social bonds — are among the most sought-after skills because they are irreplicable by AI. The most competent physicians not only diagnose but also listen to their patients. Exceptional educators provide inspiration beyond mere information dissemination. Successful entrepreneurs anticipate and fulfill human needs even before they are expressed.
Years of neuroscientific research validate what many parents instinctively recognize: the significance of relationships in brain development. Consistent, loving interactions with caregivers and educators facilitate resilience, self-regulation, and cognitive problem-solving.
On the contrary, a deficit of social interaction can lead to significant cognitive and emotional challenges. For instance, research on Romanian orphans from state-run institutions during the 1970s and 1980s illustrates how the absence of human relations resulted in severe developmental setbacks. Even attempts at integration into nurturing homes later often left these children struggling with emotional attachment and cognitive functioning challenges. Building and maintaining relationships emerges as a vital ability that influences a child’s lifelong potential to learn and thrive.
Currently, relationships are often perceived as secondary—regarded as a “soft” challenge compared to academic rigor or economic contributions. However, relationships should not be seen as an optional add-on; they are foundational for our future. According to LinkedIn’s chief economic opportunity officer, relationship skills are critical in a growing “relationship economy.” Furthermore, relationships are also linked to longevity.
Some regions acknowledge the importance of relational intelligence in shaping future workforces. The educational reform known as the “Mississippi Miracle” focused not only on enhancing reading education but also on providing ongoing mentorship for teachers and nurturing meaningful relationships with students.
Alabama’s First Class Pre-K program, consistently ranked among the top in the nation, emphasizes small class sizes, play-based learning, and advanced professional development to incorporate relationship-building within early educational settings. New Hampshire has mandated play-based learning in early grades, drawing on robust research validating the efficacy of guided play. California’s expanding community schools demonstrate improved academic results, increased attendance, better behavior, and enhanced family involvement by fostering a holistic student experience and community cohesion.
These successes reaffirm a vital reality: Intelligence transcends knowledge accumulation; it encompasses connection, collaboration, and care.
However, the responsibility does not solely rest on schools to address the concurrent education and relationship deficiencies. Relationships extend beyond classrooms, manifesting in families, neighborhoods, and faith organizations, influencing how we care for each other at a societal level. Consequently, some of the most effective initiatives may look nothing like conventional educational institutions.
Family hubs in the UK and the U.S. offer parenting education, mental health support, and social gatherings, acknowledging that the family serves as an initial educational environment. Rather than viewing early learning as merely an institutional endeavor, these hubs fortify relationships at every stage, ensuring parents receive the necessary resources to become effective first educators.
Programs like Jumpstart and Big Brothers Big Sisters create supportive relationships between trained mentors and young children, nurturing literacy, social-emotional development, and a lasting passion for learning.
In Hawai’i, Tūtū & Me redefines early education by involving grandparents and caregivers, anchoring children within extended family networks that uphold cultural traditions and intergenerational ties.
In New Orleans, TrainingGrounds empowers parents to take on the role of primary educators, enhancing relational intelligence through day-to-day interactions.
Additionally, Alabama’s Small Magic initiative utilizes technology, specifically LENA, to provide parents with actionable guidance on language development, fostering deeper engagement in their children’s early educational experiences.
These transformative initiatives not only enhance learning outcomes but also enrich human connections, emphasizing that intelligence is about nurturing care, attention, and engagement.
Related: What aspects of teaching should remain human?
The pandemic served as a wake-up call regarding relational dynamics—its impacts stripped away essential connections, underlining their critical role in development. Young children faced developmental setbacks, while mental health challenges intensified alongside social disintegration. As society comes out of isolation, there is a noticeable desire for connection, reinforcing the understanding that these relationships are fundamental to well-being.
The path forward belongs to those who are skilled at forming and maintaining meaningful connections in an increasingly digital, automated world. Should we neglect to prioritize relational intelligence alongside cognitive and emotional skills, we risk preparing future generations for an obsolete workforce and society.
However, if we succeed in embedding relationships at the heart of education, family units, and economic structures, we can foster a community that is not only more intelligent and resilient but also better equipped to adapt and connect in the future.
We are not facing a crisis of intelligence; instead, we are confronting a relational crisis—one that needs to be addressed with urgency and focus.
Isabelle C. Hau is the executive director of the Stanford University Accelerator for Learning and the author of “Love to Learn: The Transformative Power of Care and Connection in Early Education.”
Source
hechingerreport.org