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Neha Ruch finds the common question “What do you do?” somewhat limiting. She believes it fails to capture a person’s full identity and can be particularly challenging for those not currently engaged in paid work. “When you leave a career title behind, it prompts a deeper reflection on who you are beyond that role,” Ruch states.
This perspective evolved for Ruch during her career pause after the birth of her first child in 2016, when she transitioned from a full-time brand marketing position in New York City to a part-time schedule, eventually stepping away from work altogether to focus on parenting.
During her time away from the professional sphere, Ruch felt compelled to assist other women grappling with similar transitions. She founded Mother Untitled, a platform dedicated to supporting women who are taking a break or shifting their careers to prioritize family. Additionally, she authored a new book titled “The Power Pause,” geared towards helping women strategize their careers in the wake of motherhood and transition back to work with renewed vigor.
The dialogue surrounding motherhood has been complicated, especially in the aftermath of the pandemic, which highlighted the burdens of childcare costs. Recent social media trends have also glamorized traditional views of mothers and homemakers.
At 39 and the mother of two, Ruch aims to shift the narrative around women’s career aspirations and parenting, advocating for better representation and acknowledgment of the complexities of motherhood as she discusses her views on the so-called “tradwife” phenomenon.
Reframing the Perspective on Career Ambition
Traditionally, ambition has been linked to corporate success, often viewed as a relentless pursuit of professional advancement.
However, by redefining ambition, it becomes clear that it embodies “the determination to pursue endeavors with care.” This broader interpretation permits individuals to recognize that their priorities may evolve over time, sometimes shifting towards family commitments. Making such a deliberate decision to align actions with personal values is, in Ruch’s view, a profound expression of ambition.
Addressing the Negative Publicity of Motherhood
Motherhood often suffers from negative publicity, and Ruch believes it is crucial to present this stage as a time of growth and enrichment. This phase can lead to the acquisition of new skills and insights that contribute to personal development.
Moreover, in dual-income households, it’s important to understand that if one partner decides to pause or adjust their work for caregiving, the other partner’s professional life also relies on that decision. Recognizing the interdependence in a household is essential for a balanced family dynamic.
Ruch’s Reflections on Her Own Career Break
Upon reflecting on her career break, Ruch expresses that her decision to resign from her job may have been made too hastily.
Career experiences and relationships are valuable assets, and nurturing them can create pathways for future opportunities. Furthermore, many parents face the misconception that they don’t deserve assistance when engaged in unpaid work at home. Ruch acknowledges her own struggles with this belief, contesting the notion that hiring help is unjustifiable if one is not earning a paycheck.
Investing in support, whether through childcare or household help, significantly benefits the entire family, alleviating burdens and providing necessary breaks for primary caregivers while enriching children’s lives with diverse adult interactions.
The Temporary Nature of Career Pauses
The binary distinction between stay-at-home and working mothers often oversimplifies the realities faced by parents. Many seek a balance that promotes sustainability in both family life and careers.
Research commissioned by Ruch indicates that one in three women currently employed outside the home plan to pause their careers within the next two years. Additionally, half are likely to reduce their working hours, opting for part-time or flexible arrangements, with a significant majority of those on pause aspiring to return to the workforce.
By adopting a more flexible understanding of career trajectories, parents can adjust their professional commitments in tandem with shifting priorities while maintaining their aspirations.
Insight on the ‘Tradwife’ Trend
The concept of the “tradwife” is a trend often highlighted on social media, but it represents only a narrow slice of reality.
Women partaking in this lifestyle have identified ways to monetize their choices, but the traditional portrayal often fails to resonate with the diverse experiences of modern mothers, who are dealing with increasingly complex decisions about work and family.
While the lifestyle depicted by the trend is not inherently negative, it does not reflect the multitude of women who desire to maintain their professional identities and prepare to return to work empowered as they raise their children.
Embracing family life means letting go of unattainable standards that drain resources. Ruch emphasizes the importance of prioritizing time for personal growth, even if that means opting for simpler meals like chicken nuggets to create space for professional projects.
The Role of Flexible Work in Mitigating Pay Disparities
The current wage gap reveals that women earn approximately 84 cents for every dollar earned by men. When factoring in career pauses associated with motherhood, that number drops to 79 cents to the dollar.
Increasingly, we see more pathways that honor the choices mothers make, such as offering flexible, part-time, or freelance work that helps women remain engaged with their earning potential and allows for continued professional development.
This issue transcends gender; currently, one in five stay-at-home parents are fathers. Thus, fostering a conversation around work-life balance as a family issue, rather than strictly a women’s issue, could open doors to an array of options that benefit everyone involved.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
Source
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